Your Worry Factor is 68%

The amount you worry is definitely borderline unhealthy. Even when things are going well, you find yourself fixating on the negatives. Try to remember the times you've been able to let your worries go. If you can do that again, you'll be much happier!

Well P. has decided to fight Mom for the divorce. He wants half of everything. He's constantly making false claims upon which stuff is his and which isn't. So Mom is just going to drop the whole thing and go back to waiting for him to die. Which means we have to put OUR life on hold in the mean time. We've sent in applications to try to get onto Section 8 (low income housing). There is a huge waiting list so who knows how long that is going to take. My Sweetie is taking it fairly well actually. It's either mom has to drop the claims for the divorce which P has brought up and said he wanted in the first place, or we could lose the house. We can't have that. This is just so unfair, P doesn't deserve the house. He barely spent any of HIS money on the house it was all Mom's and her mother's. The land was pre-marital on Mom's side but apparently that doesn't matter. This really REALLY sucks. P's daughter (who used to work for P's lawyer) has put all of this into his head. SHE wants to benefit out of this too, I just know it. I don't know how much more SHIT I can handle at the moment. I just want to relax but I've got demands on me from all sides it feels like.

**sigh** Seems like life is just going to shit on me again. What I want to know is WHEN is life going to get better???? Also, when are my daily aches and pains going to disappear???? I want to SCREAM!!!!!

I gotta run in a few minutes so here's a couple quick ones for ya.

When I was little, probably 10 or so. My great grandmother was in a nursing home and she wasn't doing well at all. The following day as the family reunion. The night before my uncles dug a pit and put the pig in for the pig roast. They have to cool for a really long time. Anyway, during the night the pig caught fire. My grandmother (whose bedroom was right next to the pit) woke up and saw the flames around her bedroom window. In the flames she saw her mother in laws face. Seconds later the phone rang. She had passed away. How freaky is that??

Oh and the trailer never caught fire, just the pig. My uncles were able to get the fire back under control.

Here's another one, this one is much more recent. Thanksgiving 2001 my Sweetie's grandmother died. After she died we were visiting and staying at her house. Well at some point during the day my mother in law sent us down to Sweetie's grandmother's house (the houses share the driveway) to get a big trashbag. Well Sweetie and I searched all over and couldn't find out. We looked in drawers in closets everywhere. So I stood in the kitchen with my eyes closed and spoke to Nana (in my head not outloud) and said, "Nana, Mom sent us to find a big black trash bag and we can't find out. Can you help us please?". Sweetie didn't know I did this, he came back into the room and pointed to the kitchen table. There is one he says! The bag was NOT there before!! I told Sweetie what I had done and he said, "That's my Nana." So like before, I shut my eyes, and thanked her very much. :) I felt a wave of peace after that. Nana was one of the most kindest sweetest people you could ever meet. She liked just about everyone. You had to be really mean for Nana to not like you.

Anyway, gotta run, thought I would share those stories with you. :)

Later on when I get home I'll try to think up some Thursday Tidbits for ya! :D

After Tuesday night we decided that Sweetie should NOT skip his weekly couseling appointment so we were able to get in. Not our usual time an hour later, but that's ok at least we get to get in. I have to say though, he's doing much better and except for a few odd comments every once and a while he seems to be back to his "normal" self.

So today the stress level is down and the binge session is over. I had a good healthy breakfast. I had 1 serving of dry cereal (rice chex), a small apple, and a dannon light & fit yogurt. Very yummy! I did forget to test my blood sugar this morning and I think I forgot to yesterday as well. Ah well. Best not to dwell on that.

Earlier this week my grandmother had a heart catherization done. They thought there was a blockage but found out that there was none. They did find that in one of the arteries leading to the heart is leaking. So they are going to do something about that, when I'm not sure yet. My grandmother has been complaining of chest pains. My grandmother is one that either doesn't complain at all, or over exaggerates and this happens to be one where she tried to hide it but because my mother was with her she saw my grandmother's face during one of the chest pains she waited until it was over and got a nurse. My grandmother said that was the worse one yet. I worry about her as she's my only living grandparent left. So if you have any spare prayers and positive thoughts I was hoping you could send them to her. I really appreciate it. For those that may do Reiki and need her name, her name is Jacqueline (but most people call her Jackie).

I hope you all have a very wonderful Thursday.

A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One child wrote the following:

"We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live here in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida and now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded people.

"They live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on big tricycles and wear nametags because they don't know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have got it fixed, because it is all right now.

"They play games and do exercises there, but they don't do them very well. There is a swimming pool, too, but they all jump up and down in it with their hats on. I guess they don't know how to swim.

"At their gate, there is a dollhouse with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out. Then they go cruising in their golf carts.

"My Grandma used to bake cookies and stuff, but I guess she forgot how. Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And they eat the same thing every night: Early Birds. Some of the people can't get past the man in the dollhouse to go out. So the ones who do get out bring food back to the wrecked center and call it potluck.

"My Grandma says Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded some day, too. When I earn my retardment I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out so they can visit their grandchildren."