Every time I set time aside for blogging I reply to everyone and check in with everyone and by that time I'm out of words and don't get to post a new entry. So tonight... erm, this morning I'm blogging first.
Then I'm going to bed.
We are very close to hearing about the apartment. We got a letter yesterday (Saturday) requesting a deposit on the apartment. We haven't been fully approved yet but they are processing our application and once we give them $100 they will stop advertising for the apartment and concentrate only on us. If we don't get approved we get our money back, and if we do get approved and we bail out then it's not refundable. We are super excited about this apartment. All that's left is the $100 deposit (which will go towards the security deposit), the letter from the doctor saying our 2 cats are necessary, and our records from the pharmacy (because they take a discount from our rent for that). The good news is the deposit and the pharmacy information is in the mailbox so it will go out on Monday and we will also call the doctor to fax over the permission letter for the cats on Monday as well. So we are moving right along. Who knows, we might be moving in a couple of weeks! :D
Sweetie's mom is in Florida right now. We dropped her off at the airport on her birthday the 6th. She met her twin and her other brother and her niece (all but her other brother share a birthday - I know, duh on the twin lol). The drive up to the airport was horrible, we almost got stuck on Catherine's hill (I know Mac will know where that is). We should have gone on the main road, route 1, but we went through the back roads route 182. It was snowing and just plain horrible, we passed 3 plow trucks (before I fell asleep) and they were all going in the opposite direction so absolutely useless to us. When we finally got to Bangor the snow had stopped but the flight had a 2 hour delay! Now we are supposed to pick her up on Wednesday and it's supposed to be snowing then too! Heck, it's snowing right now. Argh... Have I mentioned lately how much I hate snow? It really irritates me. I'd love to have it so it never snowed. I don't mind cool weather, I just don't like snow. If it was only ever 1-3 inches that'd be one thing, but we've had what seems like several feet of snow this winter alone which is more than we've had in the last 3-4 winters combined if not more!
I went to see my regular doctor on Friday. I hadn't seen her in 6 months. I'm supposed to see her every 3 months for blood work to check my ha1c levels (blood sugar - I'm pre-diabetic). I mentioned to my doctor about all the stress I'm under the trouble sleeping and my depression. My depression has been really bad lately and I'm not sure if it's from the stress, from my irregular sleep schedule, or just from everything that is going on and me trying to do too many things at once. In therapy our counselor has us working through a program called DBT. I couldn't explain it very well if I tried, so if you don't know what it is, google it. LOL (I'm tired at the moment, just not sleepy so I took my meds.) Anyway, my doctor is going to sign me up for this program (just like my sweetie is on) to have my meds automatically shipped to me so I don't have to pick them up every month. The cool thing about this is with the health insurance I have I don't have to pay a co-pay anymore. Cool! Works for me. :) Sweetie is already on it and it's wonderful. Although if 1 of his meds doesn't arrive on Monday he's out, but then I don't think the prescription is for enough pills for how many he needs in a day. Anyway, I got a larger dose of my sleeping pill, and she's also sending over my other prescriptions as well. I'm getting a new prescription this one is an anti-depressant. It's to be taken at night because it could make me sleepy. We'll see how it goes.
When I was at the airport killing time waiting for my mother in laws flight to leave (which we ended up only waiting for 1 hour with her instead of the 3) I browsed the gift shop and found a book. :) It's called Phillips' Treasury of Humourous Quotations by Bob Phillips. I'm trying to get permission to use these quotes in the stationary I make and I'd like to post some quotes in my blog here. Maybe start or end each entry with a quote. There are over 1700 quotes in this book on more than 800 topics so I shouldn't run out for awhile. LOL I've read a bunch already and they aren't all funny but I'm liking them. :) These quotes are all clean as well because his books are sold at Christian bookstores, and evidently airport gift shops. LOL They were in a rack of Choice Books. I think I've seen racks of those types of books at Wal*Mart.
One problem I've been having lately in concentration. I can sit here and have a list 10 miles long of stuff I want to do but all I end up doing is sitting here staring at the screen and making my eyes go fuzzy so everything is blurry and I can't see a damn thing. Or I'll do that except I'm staring at the tv. I'll suddenly realize that I have to back up whatever I'm watching because I don't remember what is going on. It's strange and annoying and pissing me off which is only causing my depression to be worse. I've fought off depression for a really long time. When I look back and explore my younger self I can see depression as being the reason behind whatever I did. Not everything of course, I don't want to blame that for everything I've done wrong in my life, but I can certainly see where it's had an impact on my life. When I miscarried in 2002 I was put on anti-depressants. I was only on it for a week or so. I didn't want to be on anti-depressents. I didn't want the stigma that I saw or thought I saw because of it. I've been on anti-depressants twice in my life, 1 time it helped and that short time I didn't let it. This new one I'm going to try is different and I don't know what is going to happen. I want it to help I really do. I know meds aren't a cure all and end all fix it type of thing, but I'm hoping it'll give me a boost to help me through the next few months.
Oh my god! I just realized it's Valentine's day in 4 days. Sweetie and I aren't doing anything because we really can't afford anything right now. I told him the only thing I wanted from him was a love letter. :) I want him to tell me how he feels about me. I want MUSHY!
That's it, that's all I want. Of course if he decides to cook me a special meal or for us to have some "special" alone time if you know what I mean, I'm all for that. Where's that evil emoticon with the horns when you need it? LOL I know I should write him a letter as well but I'm so horrible with words. Writing my blog is really hard for me sometimes. It's like I have a lot to say and when I sit down to write it nothing comes out. I can lay in bed and mentally write out what I want to say but here it doesn't always come out. Tonight however, that doesn't seem to be a problem. I haven't written a really long entry here in awhile and I miss it. I miss the feelings I got when I posted a really long entry and just got a bunch of things off my chest. In the begining it was easy because it was a fresh canvas and I could focus on telling my life story so anyone who came to my blog could get to know me if they so chose to. Now, I mainly do updates on what is going on in my life. I think there are about 5 people that read my blog and only 3 that post responses to it. I wonder if there is a way to get more people to read my blog. But the problem with that is I'd have to go to other blogs to read theirs so I can respond to them in order to get them to come to mine. But the thing is, I don't have alot of time. I like the few friends I have right now and I'm going to be satisfied with that. I've always said that it's not the quantity of friends that you have but the quality. I know it's not MY original saying that it's been around forever, but it's so true and I do say that. I'd so much rather have 1 real friend then 100 fake friends, fake friends are too high maintenance. Real friends aren't maintainence they are friendship, you do things because you want to, not because you have to.
Wow am I rambling tonight!! LOL I think my sleeping pills have started taking into effect, I think I'll sign off for the night and go visiting on the steam when I wake up in the afternoon.
Take care everyone, I miss you!
**hugs and love**
~Cerelia
